The Uncontrollable
by shopluvva33
Summary: Bella is dating her step-brother James. He has anger management issues. When they move to La Push with Phil and Renee with their relationship on edge, will Bella find peace and love in Jake? THIS STORY IS ON HOLD!


BPOV

_I lay down in bed and thought about my day. Nothing really goes wrong in my life. It is kind of boring actually. Well, that was until James came into my life. My father had died when I was a baby and mom had just gotten remarried to Phil a couple of months ago when we moved in with them. James was Phil's son and was godly. He was 14, one year older than my 13 years old, but he was held back one year so we were both in the 7__th__ grade. He looked like he was 18 though. Being 6'0 and having muscles complimented his nice blonde hair and baby blue eyes._

_But there was something weird about James. Every time he looked at me, there was such love and passion in them I almost melted. I didn't very well understand it. I mean, of course, I loved him to death too, he was my best friend. These last 2 months we had spent every single second together and I had ditched my other friends for him. At school we would eat lunch alone and at home we would hang out together._

_We were like 2 pea's in a pod. But sometimes I just didn't understand those intense looks he would give me._

_Just then there was a knock on my door and James came in, looking as smoking hot as ever. "You mind if we talk, Bella?" He asked politely and with a hint of desperation in his voice. Talk about weird._

_"Sure, Jamie." I said, using the newly acquired nickname I had given him. I don't think he liked the actual nickname as much as he liked the gesture of me calling him something different than his name. I think he felt closer to me that way and I liked it too._

_I turned of my bed side lamp and sat up against the headboard. I wiped the scraggly hairs away from my face, looking down at my pajamas. I felt self-conscious in my Hello Kitty pajamas and was about to cover myself with the cover when a hand caught mine._

_I looked up into the intense gaze of ocean blues and melted. "Please don't, Isabella. Don't cover yourself. You are too beautiful to do that my little kitten."_

_I looked at his face and gasped when I saw it. He couldn't love me like…Could he? He looked so happy and light when he looked at me. A smiling face of perfection, love and happiness lighting up his eyes. I was very confused and saw this._

_"Bella, do you love me?" He asked in a hopeful voice, and there was also a trace of desperation._

_"Of course I do, my Jamie. You're my best friend!!" I replied. His face took a look of utter pain and he looked horrified. He got off my bed and walked over to my window. He put his forehead against the pane of glass and breathed in deeply. _

_What was wrong with him?_

_I got off the bed and walked over to him. I tried budging him away from the window and he wouldn't move. Well, two could play at that game. I was small enough to fit in the small amount of space between James and the window._

_His face was still against the window above me, him being a foot taller, so I couldn't see his expression. He wrapped his arms around my back and rested his chin on my shoulder and squeezed me so tight, like he was afraid I would let go._

_He rested his face on the top of my head and was shaking. Why was he shaking? Was he cold? I moved out of his embrace and looked up at his face and realized with horrification __**(A/N: Is that even a word?) **__that he was crying. _

_There was a tormented look of torture and pain on his face and I would do absolutely anything to take it off. I took his face into my hands and looked deep into his eyes, searching for the reason for his pain._

_Apparently I didn't have to wait too long to know the answer._

_"Please…Don't leave me Bella…" He choked out in a pained voice._

_Why does he think I will leave him? I wouldn't leave him. He was making no sense but I think I was going to find out why he was acting strange very soon._

_"Bella...Since the day I met you, I knew I was in love with you. You're my everything. I used to have other friends but once I saw you, I knew I would ditch every single one of them for you. You became the center of my universe quickly. I-I-I ….Its hard to know that you don't love me like that. But I will take all I can get from you my love. Anything at all." He said._

_An emotion I couldn't identify bubbled within me. Happiness when he told me his speech, I didn't know why though, and another one I had never felt before. I knew though, looking at him with his messy hair and blotchy red face, the hidden emotion._

_I was in love with James. My step-brother, best friend, and P.I.C._

_P.I.C. is partner in crime._

_"I love you too James."_

_He saw the difference in my eyes immediately and knew that I meant I felt for him that way too. I realized now that I had for a long time but was just now realizing it. He leaned his cheek against mine so our lips were only inches apart._

_He hesitantly pressed his lips against mine and I let all inhibitions go when I felt the fire racing through my veins. It felt simply divine. He pushed me back against the window and intertwined our fingers, placing them above our heads. _

_He pulled back, breathless, as was I, and smiled a breathtakingly beautiful smile at me._

The sound of my alarm clock woke me up. I smiled, thinking about the dream I just had. It was the first time James and I had confessed our love to each other. But that was when we were only pure 7th graders, him being 14 and I being 13. I was now 17 while he was 18 and we were juniors.

Today was a Saturday but I always liked to be ready for anything so I got up and did my morning ritual. I took a shower then blow dried and straightened my hair. I didn't straighten it everyday, sometimes I liked having waves, but today I felt like having it pin straight to mid back. I put on some black eye liner and mascara to make my green eyes, which I had gotten from my mother, pop. I put on some light foundation and went to go find some clothes. I chose to put on a green summer dress to make my eyes pop even more. Perfect. Some brown gladiators and I was ready to go.

I walked into James room and smiled. He was still sleeping. I decided I would wake him up my special way. I crawled on top of him and started licking his bare chest, nipping and leaving kisses. He started moaning and before I knew it he was awake.

"Baby, why are you awake?" He breathed out like velvet. I chuckled and he finally sat up with me on his lap.

"Hey, want to go race kart driving today?" He asked. That was something we liked to do every now and then, we got some laughs and had fun while spending time with each other.

"Sorry. I am hanging out with Ryan today." I answered him in a careful tone.

He eyes shot with fire and he gripped onto me before pushing my back on the bed and hovering over me. I could hear his heavy breathing and could see the hate and loathing in his eyes.

I was absolutely terrified of him at that moment and I was frozen when his nails started digging harshly into the skin of my arms. I cried out but he was unphased.

"Absolutely not Bella. No. You are mine!!!" He started gripping my arms to hard and I whimpered. He was too mad to hear and kept breathing hard onto my face and snarling. I started crying and he seemed to snap out of it then.

Then out of nowhere the door snapped open and Phil came in. He saw James on top of me and thought we were just fooling around. Phil and Renee knew of how we were together and didn't really mind.

On second glance he saw the terror and fear in my eyes and the tears streaming down my face and raced over to me. He easily pushed James off of me and pulled me into his arms. He rocked me slowly and I looked over at James to see him looking at the bruises on my arms in pain and disbelief.

Well if he thought he was in pain, he didn't know what I was going through. Physically and mentally.

Mentally I felt betrayed. This wasn't exactly the first time he had been possessive or controlling over me but this was the first time he had actually hurt me. I loved him more than anything but he sometimes treated me like he didn't care at all. I was confused though, I knew he loved me, but sometimes he just acted strange.

I was going to have to ask about that later.

"Bella…" James choked out with tears streaming down his face. Talk about change of emotion.

"I think it is time we tell her, James." Phil said calmly.

James made a hand gesture for dad to leave the room, and he did, very reluctantly. Then James looked over at me and down at the huge purple bruises on my arms, horrified. He was about to scoot over and hold me to him, and I quickly scooted away terrified. I didn't know if he was stable. I was scared of him.

He looked down defeated and looked like he wanted to kill himself. "Bella, its so out of my control. I cant help it when I get angry. It takes me over like an enraged bull. I am like a werewolf." He said desperately.

"What do you mean you cant help it?"

He looked like he didn't want to admit it but then said, "I'm Bipolar."

I felt the tears running down my cheeks when he said that. He couldn't be!

HE COULDN'T BE! HE COULDN'T BE! HE COULDN'T BE!

But I knew he was. The way his moods always shifted, the way he sometimes bursted with anger or possessiveness, I should have seen the signs.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared you wouldn't want me anymore."

I scoffed at this. "I will always want you James."

He nodded but didn't say anything. I guess he though I was still mad at him.

Then, I felt incredibly guilty. He couldn't help this hereditary illness he inherited. He was doing the best with it he could. I think.

"Do you take medicine for it?"

He looked at me and smiled a sad smile. "Everyday. I never want to take a risk around you Bella. The reason I blew up at you this morning was because I didn't take my meds last night. I figured I could just take them in the morning."

He was trying so hard. I could see it in his gaze, his posture, his soul. He wanted to fight off this anger for me and it made me feel so good. I knew then that he was right when he said he couldn't help it.

My poor baby.

I launched myself at him sat on his lap. I put my thighs on either side of his and put my sex against his own. I leans my forehead against his and gazed into his eyes, which were full of love.

"I love you so much, baby. And I would never not want you. We will fight this off together and I will be with you every step of the way. I know it might be hard for you to sometimes contain your anger, but try your hardest. I believe in you."

"I love you to, my little lovely love." He said with passion.

He crashed his lips to mine and stood up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked to the bathroom. He held me against him with one hand and the other went behind me as he turned on the water. Our tongues were still twisting with passion as I humped my sex against his thigh. He also humped his erection against my leg. It was so hot.

We both still had our clothes on, him wearing his sleeping shorts and I wearing the green sun dress, ass he walked us into the shower. He pulled down him shorts quickly, kicking him off.

His huge cock of yumminess sprung out and I moaned in ecstasy as he started rubbing it against me. I quickly pulled off my underwear and pulled my dress up. We usually liked a lot of foreplay and playing with each other, but I knew right now we just needed to be joined together.

I moaned as his tip rubbed my clit and entrance and pushed down on him. He entered me to the hilt and I gasped. I was now pushed up against the wall with my legs and arms around him as had pummeled in and out of me.

He soon came and then I followed shortly after.

"Say my name." He ordered.

"JAMMEESSSS!!!!" I screamed as I released all of my pussy juices around his cock. He took his dick out and we started washing each other. He was in the middle of washing my hair when I realized something.

We didn't use condemns.

I started crying at this realization. I wasn't ready to be a mom. I couldn't get pregnant. I might not be, I kept reminding myself.

"What, bella? What's wrong?"

"We didn't use condemns." I said with fear in my voice. He looked down at me in confusion. Uhh… What?

"So?"

"I COULD GET PREGNANT!" I screamed hysterically.

He looked happy at this though and I almost choked. "That would be great, Bells. We would be amazing parents, and you would be the sexiest momma alive."

I froze for a second and ran out the shower. I couldn't be around him when he was like this. He always liked to talk about our future and how we would be married and have kids with each other one day. And…I am not sure if I wanted to do that with him.

I quickly ran into my room and threw on jeans and a tank top. I threw my wet hair up in a bun and put some eye liner on. I ran down the stairs to find James by the door, no doubt to block my escape.

"I have to go. Ryan's waiting for me." I said as calmly as I could.

He was about to protest but I quickly ran around him and exited the house. I quickly made a bee line for my car and I could hear him screaming my name behind me. I quickly jumped in and shut the door, starting it up. He was about to catch up to me when I quickly pulled out and drove away.

I took a quick look back at him to see him looking him at me in pain and anger. He was also kind of confused about why I ran out of the shower, or maybe he knew it was about the pregnancy thing.

I quickly pulled into Ryan's house and smiled. He was one of my few friends. A lot of people thought James and I were weird because of our relationship so they ignored us, but Ryan has always been there. James hated him though, saying that he had feeling for me.

And the sad part was that I seriously did think Ryan digged me.

I pulled up and he ran out and hug me. I was about to talk to him when my phone went off on my moms ring tone. I gave him a 'shh' finger and picked up. She said the words that changed my life forever.

"Get home now. We're moving."


End file.
